Life and Death are never what you expect

Sorry I haven't posted for awhile - my life has been a bit hectic. Tuesday my father called and asked me to fly home a couple of days early because my grandmother was very sick. I rearranged my work schedule, postponed my moving date and changed my flights. I came home Thursday morning and headed straight to DeSmet. I was able to see my grandmother and she recognized me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see her and all morning I had debated it. Part of me wanted to just remember her as I saw her at Christmas, but once I was in her apartment - I was thankful that God again blessed me with the chance to say goodbye.

Vivian passed away last night. She defied expectation - when my father called on Tuesday he did not think I would make it. Turns out my grandmother had more strength than anyone anticipated. My great-aunt Bernice said something in passing on Thursday that really stuck with me. She said, "Sometimes it's hard to die." It just made me think about all those people who struggle to live and here was my grandmother struggling to die. Death was a relief to her.

Normally I think of an Emily Dickinson poem - but none came to me. It is so different to have a grandmother pass. I will miss her terribly. We didn't always see eye to eye, but we challenged each other and I think we were good for each other. She taught me that nobody is perfect but everyone deserves to be loved.

I love you grandma. Be at peace now.