It does not seem so long ago that I sat and wrote about Albert Rowen and all the wonderful things I discovered about him as he passed away. Tonight I write again with a new death of another grandfather freshly on my mind. John Henry - my mother's father - passed away tonight. Nobody awoke this morning expecting the day to end without him, but it did.
As I sat in the hospital room with a lot of my family, knowing it was only a matter of a few hours before he would pass - Emily Dickinson flooded my mind. With Albert, death stopped kindly, but with John, it was another poem that struck me. Dickinson wrote a poem called "I heard a fly buzz when I died." In it, the person passing looked around the room at the family all gathered waiting for them to pass. There was that feeling in the room tonight. We could do nothing but wait. We waited in silence, we waited remembering all the wonderful times we had with John, waited while watching the Vikings lose... but mostly waited until his suffering would cease.
Earlier this week I had the blessing to talk to grandpa and the last thing he said to me was that he was glad I was here. Me too. Although it was hard to be there in that hospital room - I knew that there was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be then. He died so peacefully and with so much dignity and respect and love - just as he wanted. His family was there to the end. I'm glad I could be there. He was always so worried that I wouldn't come back home to South Dakota. Everytime I went away he always wanted me to come home - and I have.
Tonight I lost my grandpa - but I look forward to the day when he will have a new body and perhaps he will dance with me.
1 comment:
Hi Kate - Man, I read this and everytime I cry. You just have a way with words!
I miss him tremendously, seems weird to call Grandma and she tells me she is very lonely, it is hard to hear, expected, but still hard to hear.
Miss you girl - it was great seeing you when we were home.
Love, Stacy
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