John Henry was a great man.

It does not seem so long ago that I sat and wrote about Albert Rowen and all the wonderful things I discovered about him as he passed away. Tonight I write again with a new death of another grandfather freshly on my mind. John Henry - my mother's father - passed away tonight. Nobody awoke this morning expecting the day to end without him, but it did.

As I sat in the hospital room with a lot of my family, knowing it was only a matter of a few hours before he would pass - Emily Dickinson flooded my mind. With Albert, death stopped kindly, but with John, it was another poem that struck me. Dickinson wrote a poem called "I heard a fly buzz when I died." In it, the person passing looked around the room at the family all gathered waiting for them to pass. There was that feeling in the room tonight. We could do nothing but wait. We waited in silence, we waited remembering all the wonderful times we had with John, waited while watching the Vikings lose... but mostly waited until his suffering would cease.

Earlier this week I had the blessing to talk to grandpa and the last thing he said to me was that he was glad I was here. Me too. Although it was hard to be there in that hospital room - I knew that there was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be then. He died so peacefully and with so much dignity and respect and love - just as he wanted. His family was there to the end. I'm glad I could be there. He was always so worried that I wouldn't come back home to South Dakota. Everytime I went away he always wanted me to come home - and I have.

Tonight I lost my grandpa - but I look forward to the day when he will have a new body and perhaps he will dance with me.

A Message from the Heartland

Greetings to all! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to the new year. Since I am a student, I do not really think of January as the beginning of a new year, but rather September. January is more like the middle of my year - maybe someday that will change.

This Christmas I received a webcam as one of my gifts. I wanted it mainly to chat with a few friends and to be able to "see" my family during the long stretches I am away from home.

I also wanted to leave a message for all of you.

A Quiet Desperation

I was going to wait to post when I was finished with everything. Tonight I realized if I were to wait that long, whatever it was that I would write on here, I could just tell most of you face to face.

People are starting to leave for break. A few of my friends have made the trip to Georgia, to Delaware, to Oklahoma, to New York, to wherever. Those of us left are consumed by the stack of work left to do prior to our own departures. My stack is not really a stack of work, rather it is a stack of books I am using to write my final paper. I have not been stressed at the end of this semester as I have been by other semesters. ( I am primarily thinking of the two: the semester prior to England and my last semester of undergrad.) Apparently I have developed enough self discipline to manage my workload. Most days I feel I have no self discipline because I often watch movies or talk to people on the phone for extended periods of time. However, the end of the semester has come and I only have one paper to finish while my friends with similar class schedules have two papers and finals to complete.

It snowed here on Thursday. While the snow in the trees is lovely, I was a little perturbed by its timing. I was supposed to attend a concert at my church Thursday night featuring one of the church choir members who has an amazing tenor voice. The concert and the potluck before it was canceled due to the weather so instead I drove back to campus in the snow. It was the first time I drove up "the hill" while the road was somewhat slippery and snow-packed. That was an adventure. The road is at a pretty good incline and it curves around the hill. I have a little car so I have to really gun it in order to make it up hills in the snow. The whole way up the hill I alternated between pressing and letting up the gas. Pressing the gas lunged me up the hill while letting up would slightly turn my car around the curve. This technique, while a bit dubious, did get me up the hill.

Today I decided to dig my car out the parking lot so I could make it to church on time tomorrow. Someone told me it was supposed to snow again tonight. Oh well. At least there won't be as much snow on it in the morning.

The paper I am writing is about how the concept of community is connected with the image of God. How people can only truly reflect God when they are in community with him and with other people. We can only be true to ourselves when we define who we are in light of God and in light of those around us.

I am a creation of God Almighty.
I am the daughter of Les and Shirley.
I am the sister to Dan and Machelle.
I am the aunt to Randi, Jacob and Elizabeth.
I am a friend to many.
I am a church secretary to Immanuel Church.
I am a student to the Gordon-Conwell faculty.
The list goes on...

Who are you?

The Inevitable Tunnel

During my correspondence with some of you, I have likened this next period of research to a dark tunnel. I am now about to enter that tunnel, not to see the light until the 18th when I embark on my trip home for Christmas.

I like this imagery for so many reasons. For one - I will be holed up in what amounts to a cave also known as my room (I might try the library which has the affectionate nickname of "the catacombs" around here.) I will submerge myself in a lifestyle of intense reading, thinking, criticizing, praising and writing. Other necessities become secondary in such a lifestyle. I own a movie called "IQ" which is a romantic comedy and one of the characters must pretend to be this great academic - a great thinker. So what does he do? He messes up his hair, doesn't care if his clothes match, uses a rope for a belt, etc. This stereotype comes from the academic stuck in the tunnel. The person who sees no light - who does not feel the warmth of accomplishment and love awaiting them on the outside.

The other reason I love this imagery so much is that Christmas becomes the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, Christmas. On a side (but very interesting note) is that Hanukkah started on Wednesday. Hanukkah is the Jewish festival of lights. Coincidence? I don't think so.

After a long year of toil and separation from the ones you love, Christmas is the light at the end of the tunnel. To look on an even grander scale - the coming of the Christ-child was the light and the end of a very long tunnel for the Jewish nation, and really for the whole world. Advent could be considered the season of the tunnel. The season of advent is a time where we must face the truth - we need a savior. It is as true of us as it was of the Jews in the Old Testament. The difference is our tunnel is lit on both ends. We look back to see the Christ child and we look forward to see the light of the risen Lord who will come again.

This week as I enter this small tunnel of research I am thankful for the light I see at the end. I am thankful for the family and friends who show me love in all kinds of wonderful ways. I am thankful for the education I am receiving and have received. I am thankful for the God, who no matter where I am in life, will never forsake me.

And, on a lighter note. I found a way to post some pictures so here is a closer look at the fun I've had in Boston.

Just a Quick Note

One thing about writing something on the internet is that I really don't know if people are reading it - if they are enjoying it or what. I've decided to do something that might turn out to be very stupid, in which case I will change my mind again. I have made it possible for anyone to comment on my blog and please do so. I would love to know who is following my adventure. So please feel free to leave a little note!

First Snowfall of the Season

For those of you at home in South Dakota, you might think I am a few days late in my posting. However, we, here in MA, got our first real snowfall last night. Needless to say some of the students from southern areas of the country find this experience quite thrilling. The snow is that really wet, really heavy type. I'm happy about that because it will be easy to clean off my car and I could still wear a sweatshirt to class without a coat.

I took some pictures - just so you believe me. Not that anyone would really doubt it, though.

A view from the Kerr Building.



I told you it was that slushy wet kind of snow.



It's melting really fast. Hopefully some of it stays so it isn't a sloppy mess here.

photos and a story

Praise the Lord! I have internet again! Is it wrong to praise the Lord for internet? I am truly thankful for how my internet was restored to me - it involved a long conversation and much overdue conversation with an old friend. Praise the Lord!

Why does my access to the internet have any significance for you? You will now get to see some pictures that I could not post before. I will, by no means, put ALL of my pictures up here - but I will just try to pick out a few of my favorites.

Let the pictures and the stories begin!



This is our couch. The picture is so late and so boring that it is almost not worthy of putting up except that it has really changed my life here. You may think I am shallow and perhaps even a "couch potato" but please don't misunderstand me. Since having the couch, two different visitors have made it their bed, I have hosted a theology discussion group on it, and taken one amazing nap. I love that couch.




When Bridgett came to visit, one of the many fun activities we did was go the Museum of Science in Boston. While there we took in a 3-D show on sharks. Since we both have seen "Honey, I shrunk the audience" we were expecting the sharks to attack us, like Jaws. (In "Honey..." there is a snake that strikes at you.) No such luck - it was an educational video. It was still pretty cool, though. This is us before it began - no doubt blinding 12 elementary students with our flash.



One stop on the freedom trail includes the democratic donkey. We have pictures riding the donkey and cuddling up to the donkey. I decided I would make use of the footprints in front of the donkey that say "Stand in Opposition." They had little elephants in the footprints, even. Well, I wasn't content to just "stand" in opposition - so I went head to head with the animal.



I don't think I could tell you who this is supposed to be a statue of - or if it is supposed to be a statue of anyone in particular. I just really thought Bridgett did an excellent job impersonating the stature of the statue.



Moving to the day known nationwide as "Black Friday." We slept in. Then we went to Newburyport to see what we could see. It was difficult, as you can tell by the picture because it was so bright and windy and cold. We did manage to enjoy ourselves in a few little shops including a bookstore. We all decided if we weren't broke - we would have like to buy new bags at a cute shop there.



If you ever wondered - what does it really look like to walk on the freedom trail in Boston? Wonder no more. Nealy captured this candid moment of Emily and I walking in one of the many parks in Boston on our way to the Bunker Hill Monument. Yes, Emily really takes giant steps and I really do walk leaning over to one side.



We love Boston in the fall. Although they missed the pretty leaves changing color on the trees - Nealy and Emily found plenty of enjoyment in the leaves on the ground. There were some other people in the park while we were doing this - I'm sure they were thinking we were crazy tourists. And they wouldn't be all that wrong. They're pretty smart here actually.



This is sort of a strange picture for the last picture but it makes me laugh. We decided to take some pictures where we weren't smiling - just for something different. These leaves kept us entertained for a good 15 minutes. It's not the history that draws us to Boston - it's the giant maple leaves!

Before I sign off I do have one story. You may recall that I hoped I would have a story, and I got one. While Emily and Nealy and I were in Rockport - a coast town near the seminary we were taking lots of pictures. We found a particularly beautiful view of the coast with bright blue water and rocks and boats. While we were taking pictures of the scenery and of Emily being silly (for lack of a better word) Nealy noticed that there were people in the building behind us watching us. Turns out it was a restaurant. That would be only slightly embarrassing because they are just random people that we will never see again. For Nealy and Emily, that was true. Not true for me. I looked in the window and saw the face of my professor staring back at me. He waved hesitantly and I waved back trying to stifle my laughter.

Tuesday I saw him in class and when I went up to hand in my paper, he says to me, "Hey, I saw you. Well, I guess you saw me too. Hmm." Apparently he recognized me from the back of my head and saw me long before I saw him. Let's just say I'm thankful I was too cold to be too silly right then!

Pray for me to be productive!

Deja Vu

Greetings to you all. I survived my visitors.

Bridgett came to visit me during my second reading week. She was here from a Wednesday to a Monday (which is a while) but we had so much fun together. We explored the North Shore, took in a movie, went to a science museum (turns out she's slightly competitive), walked the freedom trail, and hung out at my pastor's house. Overall, a great trip with a great friend.

Two days after she left Nealy and Emily arrived. I was ill prepared for the amount of energy required to host visitors for an extended period of time. However, their visit was also a lot of fun. We spent thanksgiving with a family from the church I attend here. We also explored the North Shore and walked the freedom trail (however, I did not climb the bunker hill monument with them). So, as my title alludes, I basically had the same weekend twice, but what a great weekend to repeat!

If you would like to see pictures, I will do my best to get them up somewhere online. My internet has been spotty lately which has prevented me from doing much on it. If I fail to do that before Christmas, I will bring my computer home and would be happy to share pictures with whoever was interested.

School is going well. I have a lot of research ahead of me. Let's just say the only man in my life from now to Christmas is a dead Swiss theologian named Karl Barth. Let's hope we can get along!

What I am really excited for is that this coming Sunday is the beginning of Advent. I think I enjoy advent more than I enjoy Christmas. There is something right about the church in preparation for the coming savior. The church I attend is doing a book study for Advent. The book is The Great Omission by Dallas Willard. I am excited to read it and to share it with others.

I pray that you all spend a little time this advent to reflect on the coming savior. :)

Study and Cram

It can be very difficult to update a blog when you don't feel like you've done anything worth telling anyone. I'm currently in my second reading week. Reading weeks are probably the best thing about seminary - seriously. This is coming from a girl who loves school and loves to learn - but sometimes you just need a break from the classes.

This weekend I ventured to TJ Maxx with some friends. It was fun to just get out and do something other than discuss theology or classes. We also went to the Cheesecake Factory. We definitely need to get one of these at home! Their menu is pages upon pages and don't even get me started on the cheesecake menu. It was a fun night out with the girls - much needed and much appreciated. So those of you who worry that I never do anything fun - rest assured that I do.

Actually, I'll be having more than my fair share of fun because starting tomorrow I'm going to have visitors from home for about 2 weeks. It's really amazing and I'm so looking forward to spending time with them. However, that means I have been cramming on some homework. Usually, reading weeks are so we can get caught up on stuff - but instead of a week - I only have a few days. Today is the last day of super cramming - so hopefully I will get much done.

I will update with pictures next time and hopefully some great stories! -The last time I said I wanted a great story I ended up walking in mud for 2 miles... so I'm saying that with caution.

November Already?

As I drove to Beverly today, admiring the last of changing leaves and the multitude that have already fallen, I began to ponder all the changes I have experienced since moving to New England. The landscape has changed the most, going from the lush green of summer to the vast array of reds, yellows and golds the fall season has to offer. While "peak weak" has past, many trees are still clinging to their vibrant leaves making my route to work a scenic route.

I began to think about the changes in relationships. I have been so blessed to find a church that I can be a part of. My relationship with the pastor of the church has become so valuable to me. Being a Gordon Conwell graduate and from the Midwest has allowed her to understand so much about what I am going through. Her and her husband have really engaged me - both have lent me a number of books. One I am currently reading, Dakota, is from an author who lives in Lemmon, SD. It is a book I think I could only truly appreciate now that I do not live in SD. Sometimes it takes leaving a place to appreciate it, and I do. I appreciate where I am from.

I thought about the changes and challenges to who I am: my theology, my personality, my goals for my time here. Some of you who read this are well aware of my theological challenges since I have been here (esp. my wrestling with Calvin). I am grateful for the wrestling - sometimes great things come from wrestling. Jacob wrestled with the Lord and although he remained injured for the rest of his life, he was also extremely blessed by the Lord. Not to equate Calvin with the Lord - but sometimes it good to wrestle with minds greater than our own.

This is such a minor note that I probably shouldn't even waste space on my blog by mentioning it, but I am so excited about it: I got netflix this weekend. That means I will be getting DVD's in the mail - just one at a time. I also get so many hours of instant viewing online every month. I love to watch movies and have been neglecting that love since being here. Watching a movie is so refreshing to me - and I'm always in a better mood after watching a good movie. So, that little luxury is going to be a wonderful blessing and probably a curse in that it will further enable my procrastination. Oh well - take the good with the bad!

My immediate goals:
1. Get stuff done prior to Bridgett's arrival in 9 days.
2. Enjoy the company coming - the friends who are giving of themselves, time and money to visit.
3. Finish the semester so I can come home for awhile and see my family and friends. That is as far as I am willing to look in the future at the moment. And this is all I am willing to write.

Retreat and Renewal

Ahh... the joys of alliteration. I was once told (rightly so) that the first line of my paper was horrible. Ever since then, especially in my blogging, I have tried to make either my title or my first line have some sort of a hook. Most of the time I do not succeed - but at least I am aware of the importance of a first line.

This past weekend I journeyed up to New Hampshire, Lake Winnepasaukee (of the What about Bob? fame) to be exact. The Women's Resource Network was hosting a 24 hour women's retreat for the women connected with GCTS. As a woman connected with GCTS, I went. My hope in going was reconnect with God because it is so easy to lose him in the midst of theological study. Seems ironic, but it is so true. The tendency is to make God an object of study rather than the subject of our lives. This summer, prior to coming to GCTS, someone was asking me what I was doing this fall. I replied, "I'm going to seminary." They heard "cemetery." An honest mistake, but when I corrected them, they shrugged and said with a sly smile, "basically the same thing anyway." It does not have to be that way. Retreats like the one this weekend are designed to remind us to find ourselves in light of who God is and reorient our lives in his direction.

The verse that really stood out this weekend was Psalm 139:14a (perhaps it will sound familiar to many from the Mercy Me song.) I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
It is so easy to see the light of God in others, but when we think about it - do we praise God for how he made us? We talk about people who bear the image of God, but do we ever include ourselves in that discussion? Not really. Often, when people focus on who they are, they focus on their sin and faults. Yes, we are sinners, but we are also justified creatures of God. As Martin Luther said, we are simultaneously sinners, yet justified. Genesis 1:26-27 says that God created humans in his image. That alone gives us value and worth. Not only does it give value and worth to your friends, your family, your enemies; it gives you value. It gives me value. If you don't think that you have been made in the image of God, just ask those around you. They will tell you how wonderful you are. I am sure they would not find it difficult to think of times where God has blessed them through your presence in their lives. Sometimes we just need to hear that. I know I do!

Transitioning a bit from the retreat, but not from the topic- 3 people from USF showed up in the North Shore this weekend. What a wonderful gift of God! Their presence just renewed my spirit. I admit that I've been in a bit of a scholastic slump - I was not motivated to do homework - I felt overwhelmed by theology. Seeing these girls again reminded me how much I loved theology in college and although it may be different here, it still has great value for me. I realize now that my path here was to learn to articulate the theology I already possess. My last months at USF were a struggle for me to articulate what I knew to be true. I find the particular challenges I face at GCTS are in part causing me to define and articulate what I believe. There are no doubt other reasons God has called me here, but I am grateful to be on this one reason.

One quick fun story. I took Kim and Dianna to Salem, Mass. on Sunday night. Considering how close it is to Halloween and Salem is like the Halloween capital of the world due to the witch trials how many centuries ago... it was a little crazy and perhaps even a little creepy. We did get to see some historical stuff and ran into a friend of mine who plays drums in a worship band that was part of a ministry designed specifically for Salem. Anyway - it was an adventure and I'm glad I could share it with those two - such awesome people!

On to much reading and studying. Since I basically took last week off, I have that much more to do this week. Ugh... procrastination!

The many facets of Hospitality

This morning I was reading a book my Marva Dawn titled Unfettered Hope. I came across a passage where she began talking about hospitality and then I realized that this weekend was filled with episodes of genuine hospitality.

Friday night I was invited by a friend to have enchiladas - which is quite the treat considering mexican food is lacking here. She made the food at a couple's apartment that she knew. The night was filled with good food, good music, the budding of genuine friendship and community. We discussed theology, we played a card game and we just enjoyed a night away from seminary. That night I experienced genuine hospitality as a guest in a stranger's home.

Saturday morning my roommate and I went to pick up our couch. Very exciting indeed! It is a lovely couch - big and comfortable and even matches our beige carpet. This couch is such a blessing because now we will be able to invite people over to our room. Before, we were hesitant because we had no place for them to sit. We had to constantly invite ourselves over elsewhere and be the guest. This couch has given us the means to return the favor and be the hosts. Now we can practice the hospitality we have received by so many of our friends here at GCTS.

Yesterday morning I went to church at Immanuel (where I currently serve as the secretary.) I have never felt so welcomed in a church. The moment I stepped in the door people smiled and greeted me by name (or close to my name). I was introduced to a half-dozen people before the church service and to the rest of the church during the passing of the peace. I sincerely believe everyone came to introduce themselves to me. I genuinely believe they do this for everyone - not just the girl who happens to be the secretary. One cannot help but be amazed by their overwhelming hospitality! I look forward to "plugging myself in" at their church more fully in the future.

While these were all wonderful stories of my experience of hospitality this weekend, my very own grandmother put me to shame. After talking to my mom last night, I believe my grandmother to have hospitality ingrained into her very being. This is her story. Sunday morning she woke up and went out to get the paper. On her way out of the garage she found a pair of shoes that were wet and covered in mud. She brought them in and asked grandpa what he thought about the shoes - he didn't know. So she decides to take the shoes back out to the garage and check the vehicles to see if the owner of the shoes is perhaps still in the garage. According to my mother, grandma went back to the garage, stick in hand. Sure enough, a woman was sleeping in her car! Grandma asked her in a loud voice what she was doing here - to which the woman did not respond. Grandma poked the woman with her stick (I admit I laughed a little when I heard that) and the woman woke up. She insisted to my grandma that this was her house.

Grandma noticed that she was cold and invited her in to warm up. The woman, once in the house, still insisted this was where she lived. Grandma protested the entire time (since it was obvious this was not the woman's home.) Grandma then offered to give her a ride to whereever she wanted to go. They drove around Arlington until they found the correct house. Grandma waited until the woman was safely inside before returning home.

Last night I was so shocked at the story and more concerned for my grandparents' well-being that I completely missed the grace and hospitality in the story. Grandma showed mercy on the girl - invited her into their home. It could have been a dangerous situation, but grandma showed grace. Not only that, she again went above and beyond by personally seeing to it that the girl found her own home. I think of the story of the good Samaritan. This girl was in need of help and although we would have thought grandma well within her rights to just kick her out, grandma showed her compassion. She did not think twice about it - that was just her nature. Grandma is never one to draw attention to herself or to do things so others may see. I can only hope to grow into that type of person.

Weekend Trip to Maine

All things must change to something new, to something strange.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

This weekend I found myself traveling up to Maine to get away from Gordon Conwell for awhile and to meet some of my mother's relatives. While the drive up there was plagued by rain and the inability to drive over 40mph due to constantly being in a town - the rest of the weekend was "fabulous."

Friday I met my mom's cousin, Judy. This was after I got lost in Portland and ended up north of Portland at one point. Thanks to my innate ability to somehow find my way, I made it to where I needed to be. I say "innate ability" but what I really mean is "luck." I visited my mother's aunt, Ruth, who is 90 years old. She is such a sweet lady and very funny. She is my grandpa's sister and they are so much alike. It was good to see, but it definitely made me miss my grandma and grandpa at home. That night we went to Jackie's (Judy's sister) house north of Portland. Beautiful place with trees, wild animals and a lake across the road - a very pleasant lake - in fact so pleasant it is called Pleasant Lake. The next day we went into Portland and I saw a lot of cool things. It looks like a great city to explore and I look forward to returning again.

What struck me about this weekend can be summed up by the Portland native Longfellow. Things much change to something new, something strange. I get struck my the "strange" sensation often. Many times the changes are so minor and it really shouldn't phase me, yet they do. They are strange because this is the first time I am encountering them by myself. Everything seems a little strange because the vantage point itself is strange. Strange isn't necessarily bad. It is through times like these that a person begins to understand who they are. What does it mean for me to be from South Dakota? What does it mean for me to be a female academic? What does it mean for me to be a theologian? All valid questions.

Below I have some pictures of my weekend. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed taking them!

Pleasant Lake


Fall Foliage


Horse at the Fireman's Museum


Harbor at Portland


Jackie, Judy, and me

God Bless the Reading Week!

Sometimes you just need a break... especially from Hebrew! -Dr. Pratico (Hebrew Prof.)

This week is a reading week for me. There are no classes scheduled throughout the week. It is a chance for students to get caught up and possibly get ahead. Most importantly, reading week provides a much needed break and rejuvenation period.

While I am finding that seminary is not as chaotic as college, the break is still very welcome. I began the break this Saturday with a outlet mall shopping trip to Maine with the women's ministry on campus. Not only did I get to add 2 states (Maine and New Hampshire) to my total count of US States I have been in, I got some great deals on clothes.

Yesterday I went to church with my friend Anna. We went to Grace Chapel in Lexington. I guess it is categorized as a mega-church. I tend not to be a mega-church fan... this church was no exception. This makes me sad to say, but I just don't feel comfortable in a church that works so hard to make me feel comfortable. They entertain me, they stimulate my senses with various artwork, videos, etc. The message was uplifting and encouraging (although I am still trying to figure out how it connected with the biblical passage.) No doubt you are reading this thinking, "Katie, are you crazy? What is so wrong with those things? Are you saying church should be boring and uncomfortable?" No. I think church shouldn't be about people - it's supposed to be about God. Anyway - I don't think I'll go there again.

Currently I am writing a response paper to Karl Barth. We had to read Evangelical Theology which I really enjoyed. As I am learning about liberal theology, Barth makes more sense to me. He makes sense as a reaction to liberal theology. When I tried to read him before, I couldn't understand why he was emphasizing so much on the revelation of God and the Word of God - but now that I get why he's doing that - he's much more accessible to me. I might end up doing some more extensive research on him - that makes me excited.

This upcoming weekend I'm going to Maine to visit my mom's cousins and her aunt. I'm excited and a little nervous. Hopefully I find the place alright and am a good visitor. I would have preferred to meet them once with my parents - but not everything works like I want it to (much to my disappointment!)

Well, this would be a good week to call me. I welcome phone calls and letters of encouragement!

Seminary Education...

What is a seminary education for? What is to be expected? What is to be tolerated?

It may seem that it is entirely too early for me to be asking these questions, or perhaps entirely too late. The other night at the supper table I found myself engrossed in a conversation on the nature of seminary education versus other types of higher education. The conversation was multi-faceted since seminary tends to draw a wide range of people with a wide range of goals. Since my only experience has been here at Gordon-Conwell, and farely limited at that, what I say should be taken with a grain of salt (or perhaps an entire handful.)

What is a seminary education for?
Historically, it can be argued, that seminary is to train those (primarily men) who are called into a pastoral ministry. Originally there were no distinctions between teachers and pastors - the term "theologian" encompassed both professions without separation. There has, however, been a split in terms of those called into a more professional ministry and those called into a more academic ministry. This split is to a point now that different degrees can be pursued in light of those interests and callings.

As many of you know, I do not find myself called into a professional or pastoral ministry. That is not to say I do not believe my calling is also a ministry. It is. I just have taken an interest in the academic side of studying theology. Therefore, my goals for my seminary education differ greatly from someone who is here to be a pastor or a counselor, etc. Yet, here we are together. We have both been brought to Gordon-Conwell. How is one institution supposed to accommodate the goals of diverse people.

During the conversation it became apparent that each person found something lacking in the seminary. Some thought the curriculum wasn't challenging enough. They, like me, had previously studied theology and was hoping to prepare for doctoral work. For them, seminary was a graduate school in their chosen field. It was supposed to bring them to the next level of scholarship and prepare them for the journey ahead - the journey toward Athens and the University. Others at the table found Gordon-Conwell too academic. They felt students worried too much about studies and not enough about spiritual formation and practical application. They were there in order to build their relationship with God and to learn to be a guide for others in the same process. How does one school accommodate such diversity? Who has a more valid claim?

It was mentioned that those students who were in the Master of Arts programs are much fewer in number than the other programs here, therefore they should be the ones to compromise. Furthermore, if they want a more challenging education, they should take it into their own hands. This is certainly true, but how much of the learning should be placed on the students' shoulders? Are we not paying in order to learn from the great scholars and professors, and not from their books? I can read David Wells in South Dakota just as well as I can here - but I cannot take a class from him and interact with him if I am at home.

I do appreciate the struggle it must be for professors who must teach people who are fairly new to the faith at the same time as those who are well on their way to being labeled theologians in their own right. While I want to be a professor - I am not sure I envy that task. At least not in a seminary setting. Discussions on theology, while invigorating - can be quite controlled here. There are no dissenting voices that demand clarifications on doctrine, etc. I hope that if I do become a professor - I may teach undergrads. Seminary is too focused on forming one certain type of person that believes in X,Y,Z. It sets itself apart against other schools of faith, rather than against the secular culture at large. (I hope that I am wrong in that regard, but feel that I could very easily be right.)

That is enough of my rambling for tonight. As you can probably guess - I have homework that I desperately need to do and have no ambition to do it.

A City Upon a Hill

For we must consider that we shall be as a city upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us. -John Winthrop
Although these words were said about Boston
I sometimes feel as though Gordon Conwell takes on the spirit of John Winthrop. Our campus is located on a giant hill and our students are being trained to be great leaders of the church. Throughout our lives people will look to us to be the example - the guiding light towards Christ. Is that a lot of responsibility? Of course. But I feel that those who are here feel called to be here. Called out for a purpose - to help others in their walk of faith and loving obedience to God.

Today I saw those immortal words of John Winthrop in Boston etched in stone. The English was rough but the passion with which he communicated through those words seemed to spark something within me. Boston was for him a new beginning. Would it be the same for me? Would this be the place where I committed my life yet again over to the author of it?

I pondered this question as my friend Anna and I roamed the streets of Boston. We were in town to go to the famous Park Street Church. I had heard about the church from friend and had wanted to go there. It is a large church, but I enjoyed the service. After that, Anna and I took advantage of the beautiful weather and soaked in the sights and sounds of Boston.

The Value of Optimism

Some days are stressful. The stress-filled moments of our lives seem to cluster into certain days where one can appreciate the pessimistic outlook on life. Yesterday was a day like that. I hope that it is clear that my life and emotions are not as dramatic as I make them out to be. If one were to ask my mother - she might argue that I do believe my life to be dramatic. What is important is that those episodes never last long and in a short matter of time I am able to reflect and gain from the experience.

You may be wondering what was the cause of my stress. The cause of my stress is the cause of most stress in the world, I would speculate: money (or the lack thereof). I love school. School is expensive. the end.

So nothing is better than a renewed sense of optimism after a day of stress. Today I regained my excitement for school and even got enough ambition to walk around the campus where I live. It is truly beautiful here and the leaves haven't even begun to change color. On my walk I saw rocks, hills, trees, a pond, horses, a tennis court (behind some trees on someone else's property...ugh), and people. Instead of trying to describe to you how beautiful it is - I'll show you with some pictures. I hope you enjoy beautiful GCTS!

Rockport

I just wanted to post this picture taken at Rockport yesterday. This place is as scenic as it gets!
The girls are from left to right: Natalie (Nashville, TN), Kate (NH), Shanee (GA), and me. Just so you know, we are blocking that cute little sailboat I am convinced I could sail.

As Classes Begin...

May I just begin?

That was the thought going through my head last weekend as I waited for class to begin. I have officially been to all of my classes at least once. I think they will all be interesting and challenging both spiritually and academically. GCTS is a non-denominational school with a strong tendency toward Reformed theology. At least, that is what I have encountered as my first impression of my theology classes. This presents some unique opportunities and challenges for me, a non-Reformed scholar. Opportunities because I will study some of the best and brightest theologians throughout history up to the present time. Challenging because I won't agree with some of it. Actually, the book I am currently reading has gotten my attention and made me utter a few growls as I read it.

My professors seem great and they probably ARE great. For two classes I have an adjunct who is only here for the year. He is from the West Coast and probably one of my favorite qualities about him is that he is adjusting to New England life just as I am. When winter comes, however, I will be in better shape that he will be (one would think anyway.)

This weekend I went into Boston for "The Boston Plunge." I got to meet some of the major pastors in the Boston Area - all from Ethnic churches. I ate at the largest Chinese Restaurant I've ever been in. I don't know what I ate and much rather stick to sesame chicken and the like. It was a "learning experience" as Steve would say.

Today I went North to church in Gloucester (Gloster). The drive up there was b-e-a-utiful. Trees and hills on one side of the road - Atlantic Ocean on the other. After church we went up to Rockport for lunch. It was such a cute place - kind of a tourist spot, but hey, I'm a tourist. I wish I would have known we were going to do that because I would have brought my camera. I saw this small sailboat that I really think I could have sailed. I was so tempted!

As I still try to nail down a schedule and routine, I find myself thinking of home often. New England might as well be a foreign country in many ways. Not only do they not know how to pronounce words like "room" or "drawer," they are missing the charm that only home can provide. As the semester continues, I am sure I will have less time to ponder the many differences between where I am currently and where I will always belong - but until then...

Long, tedious weekend

Nothing like 2 days of nothing to do to start out an adventure...

Although the time has been relaxing and it has been good to talk to some friends from home - having nothing to do but be alone with one's thoughts can be a scary and perhaps not such a healthy way to start a new chapter in life. But, maybe I am wrong. Maybe this time has served as a catalyst into the academic year. Get me bored to tears so I am anxious for something to study - for something to learn. I have learned a few things already:
1. How to pronounce local towns in MA.
Peabody (Peebidy), Gloucester (Gloster), Worcester (Wuhster), etc.
2. The names of nearly all the single girls at GCTS.

3. The names and backstories of all the characters on Ugly Betty.

4. That Rte. 128 is helpful to get to Target and Market Basket - but may not be worth the risk...

5. That lobster scares me - no really.

I also took some pictures of the dorm suite I live in. I also took one of Elisa, my suite-mate, not to be confused with my roommate. Enjoy!

This is Elisa - she's pretty much amazing.

This is the room I share with Tina (my roommate).


This would be my bed.


My desk - with my ethernet cable strung above the door - very classy.


This shot includes hall closet, extra sink and bathroom.


This is the common room that we have yet to decide what to do with.

That is all for the tour of my new residence. I'll update when I have more to say!

Adjusting

Today was registration. I'm feeling good about how things are going here. I really like the people I've met so far - everyone including the faculty and staff have been friendly and welcoming. I was sort of taken aback today at the table for mentored ministry. I'm not doing a mentored ministry because my program does not require one, but I needed a signature anyway. The lady at the table asked my program (then gave me a high five), then proceeded to ask if I planned on teaching later to which I nodded yes (another high five) and then told me the names of some supposedly amazing female profs on campus that will "inspire" me. That conversation made me feel like I was at a place where I can excel because people believe in what I am doing. People understand the path laid out before me and can help me navigate it. I feel I have spent so much of the last few months defending my decision not to do an Mdiv and not to become a pastor that I have almost been resentful of it. ALMOST.

My parents left yesterday. It was hard, but they bought me Stranger than Fiction - which softened the separation for me. I have the BEST parents in the world. Not because they bought me a movie, but because they love me enough to take a vacation to New England just to move me in. Not much of a vacation either since they are spending 6 days of it driving. YUCK!

Pray for me tomorrow - I am meeting a pastor as we discuss the possibility of me working at a local church as a secretary. I think this job is going to be a good fit for me and I hope she feels the same way!

The Adventure Begins...

6:15am Saturday, Sept 1, 2007 - I wake up shaking...literally. Not sure I'm ready for the life change about to take place, but I motivate myself out of bed to begin my day - and ultimately the rest of my life.

2:30 pm - Stop for lunch in Iowa. It seems that I have been in Iowa forever.

9:00pm - Can't find a room in Illinois or western Indiana - decide to drive through the state.

2:00am (with time change) - find a room in Ohio - I sleep on the floor. I always knew it was smart to have my sleeping bag with me at all times.

9:30 am Sunday, Sept 2nd - leave hotel and travel into the unknown - New England.

lunch time: stop at Scoopy Do's in upstate New York - friendly service and lots of french fries.

Stop around 4:30 out of pure exhaustion - watch movies.

Monday, Sept 3, 2007 - after 5 hours of driving we arrive at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary. I have made it. Find my room - meet my roommate - all is well.

I am still adjusting to life out here - especially the terrain. It is difficult for me to find my way around because I can't see the towns that I am in due to the amount of trees in the area. I got lost a little on my way to Target yesterday, but I regained by bearings and made it there and back safely. I like the girls I live with and have met a lot of really great people. Classes start on Friday - and I just have Hebrew, I believe.

Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers as I begin this new stage in my life.